How your Future Parents-in-Law will get to know all about your finances in your first meeting!

Updated on December 5, 20185 mins read

So you are planning to get married and you are meeting your to-be in-laws for the first time to officially ask your lady love’s hand in marriage. You expect them to be chatty, get to know you better, discuss your aspirations, enquire about your family etc. But you may not be prepared for the onslaught of questions on your finances! Some parents-in-law may veil these intrusive questions but most could be direct. I have compiled some weird questions that your in-laws will ask you on your finances.

1. What are your qualifications?

What they really want to ask: Are you serious about your career?

This could be pretty much the first question you are asked. No, it’s not a job interview. But the stress levels could be just as high! Have a Gold Medal? Passed out of IIM/IIT? At least a Post Graduate? Good. Parents don’t like settling for anything lesser. Never mind that you have been working towards your passion to write and expect to get your book published soon. Their daughter is studying to be a doctor. You need to be at least an Engineer!

2. So, what do you do?

What they really want to ask: What is your take- home salary package?

Parents, especially conservative middle-class parents are paranoid. They want a ‘settled’, ‘cultured’ boy for their daughter (How vague is that???). So you have plans for a Wada-Pav start-up? You may be on the verge of getting funding and you could go global with it. But, I’m sorry! They won’t get it! On the other hand if you have a ‘steady’ job with say a Tata company with a fancy designation like National Sales Manager, you will be the apple of your future in-laws eyes. And oh yes, they could call up your HR/Finance/Administration team to cross-check what you stated.

3. Do you have a private or a government job?

What they really want to ask: Will you have a steady income for the rest of life?

Yes, government jobs are still considered to be more secure than a job in a private organisation – never mind if you are the youngest Senior Vice-President in a private company!

4. Our daughter is very qualified and earns a 6 figure salary…

The implied question is:  Do you at least earn as much as she does?

Of course you have known your fiancé for a while now and are very supportive of her career. You are very proud of her. She is equally supportive of your dream… to start a band. But getting your future in-laws to be supportive of your not-so-steady career, may be an up-hill task.

 5. Where do you live?

If you answer ‘Andheri’, the next question will be ‘What is the rent like in Andheri these days?’

You’re to-be fiance’s parents will want to know if their daughter will live in a rented/owned in a good/bad locality after marriage.  If you are staying on rent, they will not only want to know your monthly rent details, but also the amount of deposit, bokerage etc. Be prepared for their advice on where you should stay and how much you should pay! They will want to know whether you are staying with your parents. They will also want to know the square-feet area of the house and the number of rooms it has.  Of course if you have taken a loan, they will ask you questions on your bank, interest rates, EMI amounts etc.

6. How do you commute to office?

What they really want to know: Do you own a car?

If you thought asking about a house was bad, they want to know if you have a car too. Their daughter should not have to travel by the local train. It could scar her for life! So if your answer is you travel by public transport, then the conversation just may die down a bit. On the other hand, if you drove yourself, or better still you have a driver, you will see them beaming. It could even clinch the deal for you!

7. Our daughter travelled to Switzerland last year for vacation. Have you travelled abroad?

This is a very covert way of asking: Will our daughter get all the comforts she is used to?

If you have at least travelled abroad for work, it will work in your favour. If the only place you’ve travelled to is your grandmother’s house in Nasik, your future-in- laws may sigh loudly!

8. Where do your parents stay?

What they really wish to know: Are your parents rich even if you aren’t?

If you are struggling but your dad has retired from the Merchant Navy or a MNC as a CFO, they would breathe easy. They retired as Government Officials and have a steady pension? Good. They have their own bungalow in Pune? Great.

9. How many siblings do you have?

No, they won’t want to know their names next. They only want to find out who is dependent on you.

If you have an unmarried younger sister, your in-laws will be worried. They want to know how many more mouths do you have to feed, other than their darling daughter.

10. What is your life-style like? 

What they really want to know: How much do you save every month?

You may have partied a lot with their daughter in the past and paid for her drinks…but you can’t let her parents know that can you? What you can do is share details of your diversified portfolio with investments in FD’s MF’s, Stock Market etc. Unfortunately there is no magic number. No matter what you say, your savings are, they won’t get impressed. And expect a lot of advice. Listen carefully. If you jot some of this advice down like a serious and well-mannered boy, you might appease them.

Disclaimer: None of the above is fiction. It has happened to real people!

Worried if you something like this happens to you? Here’s what I have learnt helps: Practise smiling a lot! It gets you out of a lot of sticky situations.

Cheers to a healthy, financially-stable and comfortable life!


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